I read a few things today that made me think about why I'm pushing myself to get thin again. I say again, because I was thin....actually dangerously thin for awhile:
This was sophomore year of high school, so I was 15....but I was even thinner at 17. A combination of aerobics for gym classes and throwing up sporadically due to my awful break-up with Steve and I was fitting into my sister's pants by New Year's Eve. That emotional upheaval in my life probably made me the strongest I have ever been in my body, but I was not there mentally. I was a mess, in fact. This article made me think about that time in my life and why I'm doing this. Who am I doing this for? For myself? For Matt? Am I going to wait until I'm actually pregnant to make sure I'm making healthy choices?

I think what drives me crazy is that it's not easy anymore. I can't eat whatever I want and kick my ass in the gym and be fine. And that's what is killing me right now. I can't just eat whatever I want and I can't kick my ass in the gym because of my hips. Today was an accomplishment. I got 5 servings of fruit and vegetables today, I drank all my water, I didn't eat any simple sugars after 3pm, and I even did 40 minutes of Spin today. And it was freakin' hard. I want potatoes with my chicken and spinach. I want to eat a cookie after dinner and not feel like I've ruined the whole day. Does it get easier? Dr. Pape says that it takes 3 months to form a habit and that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Definitely not the way I have conditioned my mind or body to lose weight.

Which kind of annoys me about The Biggest Loser. Don't get me wrong, I love the stories, I feel for the people on the show....but you don't see them eating very often. You don't see what it looks like when they sit down with a meal that they make for themselves on the ranch. They eat a lot of Subway, thanks to their marketing agreement. But shows like this convince people (like me) that if you push your body intensely, the fat will melt off.

This journey is a struggle and I need all the help I can get. Let's get me back to this:

This was senior year of college. This is one of my sister's prom dresses and I also had a wicked cold that night, but I was pretty healthy then. Lauren kept dragging me to the gym. :)
1/4/2011 11:09:06 am

It does get easier, but it is WORK. There's not much that's good for you that isn't work of one form or another. I've struggled with making healthier choices for years now, and most of the options I've chosen (both with and without the guidance of healthcare professionals) have regulated or strictly limited my carb intake in one form or another.

I can tell you that after 3 to 5 days, the cravings for that cookie after dinner will pass. The first time I limited the carbs in my diet, the cravings were intense, but now I know to expect them and to plan for them. Keep yourself busy to distract yourself for these first few days or weeks. Within 2 weeks, your body should be "cleansed" of the effects of overdoing the carbs and those cravings will lessen dramatically.

For me, it's always been easy to remove the starch from dinner. What's been harder is keeping the meal options "fresh". Too often it feels like we're slipping into a pattern of grilled or sauteed meat + random steamed/canned/frozen vegetable. It becomes too boring and that leads me to falling off track. Eating salads with the meat in them (grilled chicken or steak) helps. So does occasionally having breakfast for dinner (eggs or Egg Beaters with turkey sausage or ham... add lots of veggies to the eggs to make it better). I also have lists of veggies hanging in my kitchen as a reminder of what I can eat and what I can turn to when things get boring.

Good luck to you! I'm enjoying your posts - keep it up!

1/4/2011 11:09:55 am

And also - - - is that picture from The Wizard of Oz???? Wow - brings back lots of memories! Good times!!


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